How I Knew That Santa Wasn't Real - EfeRazep Ramona Apochi


By EfeRazep Ramona Apochi

Hi! My name is EfeRazep Ramona Apochi, and I am 7 years old (turning 8 on November 9!). I go to Caleb International School in Nigeria, where I’m the class captain, and I always get A+ grades. I do karate, I’m a ballet dancer, and guess what? I’ve even helped write a book! My big brother is Igho VonEdric Apochi, and he’s the head boy in our school. So yes, my life is super exciting, but nothing is more exciting than what I’m about to tell you now.

Let me take you to the day I found out the truth about Santa Claus.

It was June 12th, 2025. Something really dramatic had happened, I had accidentally flushed my milk tooth down the sink! I was drinking from a bottle of water, and the tooth just plopped in, and then whoosh, down the drain it went! I was crying like I had lost treasure (because I had!). My daddy was far away in the United States, but he called me right away to calm me down. He's really good at fixing problems, like some kind of Superdad. He said, “Don’t worry, the Tooth Fairy might still find the tooth and give you money.”

But I just looked at the phone, blinked twice, and said calmly, “Daddy, the Tooth Fairy is not real.”

My dad smiled, but it also looked like he had swallowed a fly! I think he didn’t know I had become a master of figuring things out. That’s when he asked the big question:

“So... how did you know that Santa wasn't real?”

I smiled a big smile and said, “Let me tell you a story…”

When I was about five years old, my parents and my aunties used to tell me stories about this scary guy named Uncle John Wick, who would “get me” if I misbehaved. They used him like a superhero for discipline. But my big brother, VonEdric, told me the truth. He said, “That’s not real.” And I believed him because he’s smart and always looks out for me.

After that, my mind started asking big questions:

“What else isn’t real?”

“Is the Grinch real?”

“Is Santa real?”

Now, here comes the big Santa story.

It was Christmas. My mummy had gone out to buy a Christmas tree, and I was at home with Aunty Angel, my brother, and Aunty Mather. Aunty Angel was telling us bedtime stories. She always used funny names. This time, the main character was a naughty girl named Chukulaka (don't ask me why). Aunty Angel said Santa gave gifts to every child except Chukulaka because she had been naughty. She even said Santa entered through the chimney to drop the presents.

Wait a minute, chimney?

I sat up like a detective on a mystery case. We didn’t have a chimney. In fact, most houses I knew didn’t. So how on earth was Santa coming in? Through the window? With a parachute?

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I was too busy thinking. Then it hit me like a karate kick:

“Santa isn’t real.”

I waited until my mummy came back and asked her seriously, like a real investigator:

“Mummy, is Santa real?”

She tried to do the mummy-smile-thing, but I was ready. I told her my facts. I told her about the missing chimney. And she finally said, “Okay, you’re right. Santa isn’t real.”

BOOM. Case closed.

So now, I’m on a mission.

A very serious mission.

I’m going to uncover all the make-believe things our parents use to trick us (with love, of course).

And to all my fellow 7-year-olds and above, don’t worry, I’ve got your back.

Just don’t let the younger kids read this, or Santa might really not visit your house next Christmas (wink wink).

Signed,

Detective EfeRazep

(Future truth-finder of all parent secrets)

Comments

  1. Anonymous14 June 2025 at 08:38

    Hahahahaha. Very hilarious and brilliant write up. I will love to read more of your work.

    ReplyDelete

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